Political Manifesto of a Moderate with Conservative Leanings (and a few Liberal ones too)

I have never really been inclined to engage in a great deal of political discussion. I basically know what I believe, vote for the individual instead of the party, have defined myself as a Moderate, and am a registered Independent.  I have never been fully Conservative or fully Liberal. Typically more on the Conservative side than the Liberal. The reason I don't engage in a lot of political debate is not because I don't have firm convictions about my beliefs, but because my relationships with my friends have a basis which has nothing to do with politics. I have friends and loved ones who are extreme Liberals, friends and loved ones who are extreme Conservatives, and most who fall in the broad range between the two extremes. If you are my friend, I welcome you and love you whether I agree with your political position or not. In addition, I simply don't care to put such divisions between myself and others who are wonderful individuals, but who don't share my political views. We don't have to agree, I'm not the best debater, usually don't have enough facts to fully support my views, and don't feel the need to convert others. I'm the same way with the other big divisive issue . . . religion. In that, I try to live my Christian beliefs and believe in influence by example.

This whole topic arises because I have been told that I am unwilling to share my political views out of fear that I would alienate my more Liberal friends. In that sense, I could just as easily alienate my more Conservative friends. However, I believe that those who disagree with me will love me anyway, no matter how misguided they may think I am. I could be wrong, so if my "Friends" number drops on Facebook, I suppose I'll know. I don't think I'm wrong though.

So what is it that I believe? I'm not very good at articulating such things, but I'm willing to give it a try.

• National Defense/Security: I believe in complete military support! Our troops are of the utmost importance, they risk their lives for us on a daily basis, and they must be completely supported and praised. I believe that our military must remain strong, and this requires a firm military defense budget. There is never justification for sending our troops into harm's way without the proper training and equipment. I would like to see the waste in the defense budget cut but would not endorse military spending cuts in general. I believe that we need to do a more adequate job of securing our borders, especially in Mexico, but I'm not completely sure what the answer there is. I believe that diplomacy should generally be the first line of defense in an international situation, but that we should always be ready and willing to retaliate when our national interests are threatened. I do not believe that we need to police and democratize the world. However, I do believe it is necessary to have military bases throughout the world so we are better able to address issues if needed. I believe that international support is almost always optimal. I believe our international reputation and image has been badly damaged, and needs repair. I believe terrorism is an ongoing threat and we must seriously improve our "intelligence" community.
• Health Care: I believe Obamacare is a disaster!!! I do not believe in government-run health care. I believe in health care reform, primarily by reducing the waste of malpractice law suits, that dramatically raises the overall cost of health care. I believe that Medicare and Medicaid fraud must be clamped down on. I believe there are better solutions to our health care crisis than universal health care. I'm not completely sure what the best option is, but I am sure that Obama's plan is only going to make things worse. I can attest to this from my own experience. The government bureaucracy will only multiply the problems astronomically. 
• Energy: I believe that we must become energy independent! We must continue to explore energy forms such as nuclear power, clean coal, natural gas, solar, wind, geothermal, hydroelectric, and yes, drilling. While we must do this in an ecologically sound way, we also need to be reasonable in regulations. Too many unnecessary regulations limit development, and are keeping the country from being able to create new jobs and develop new industry. Cap and trade legislation will keep us from developing in these areas.
• Education: Do away with "No Child Left Behind"!!!!!!! What a freaking disaster! Eliminate the Department of Education! Funnel all of those monies to the states, and allow the states to control their education programs. There should be some national standards, certainly, but the federal government bureaucracy should not be running the show. This is one political topic that I actually am, and have been, vocal about, so I won't go on too much here. I can say that one of our biggest problems is the notion that every kid should go to college. We MUST begin to encourage students to learn technical and mechanical trades or our jobs will continue to go overseas. 
• Economy: What a mess! I am NOT better off now than I was three years ago. In fact, I'm much worse off. Legislation has limited our free-market economy and there is far from adequate growth. Consumer confidence is gone. The economy was doing much better when it was allowing capitalism to function. We must have tax incentives to promote small business and stimulate job growth, but we don't need to go back to the New Deal of FDR and put job creation in the hands of the government. The government can't afford it and can't run such programs efficiently   .
• Judicially: The role of the judge is to interpret the law, not make law. (That one is pretty simple.)
• Pro-Life or Pro-Choice: Both. Yes, I know, how can I be both? I DO NOT believe that women should be able to use abortion as a birth control method. However, I do believe that a woman should have the right to have the choice. I would never encourage it. I am for life, not in the radical Pro-Life sense, but I would always encourage life first. 

Ok, I think that's all I'm going to get into for now. I've covered some of the biggies. I realize that many on both sides will think I am horribly misguided, and that's OK. Please don't feel the need to enlighten me. I approach politics at my own pace and in my own way. I watch both Fox News AND CNN, but I avoid MSNBC. I have watched every Republican debate in an effort to understand the candidates better, one of whom, I believe, will be our next president. I drank the Kool-aid in 2008 and supported Obama. I simply couldn't have supported McCain, but may have voted Republican if it had been a different candidate. I had great hope for change with Obama. I didn't agree with everything he stood for but hoped my support would be rewarded with positive change. My world at that time, as for many others, was falling apart financially, etc., and I thought there had to be something different. Well, different is what we got, but not for the better. I am not speaking of Obama on a personal level here when I say I am unbelievably disappointed in what we got. The change has not been good, we are not better off, etc. I will be voting Republican in 2012. 

So there you have it. My very, very generally spelled-out views. I am not afraid to express them, and as I said before, I don't believe others will judge our friendship on my views. If they do, then we probably don't need each other. More than anything, I pray for a return to confidence for our nation, better education for our children, stronger financial status, a more positive international  presence and image, and peace. We have an amazing nation which can never be replicated. It is the best nation in the world, but we need to preserve it. 

A bra by any other name . . .

If you've never worn one, you're lucky! I have never found a woman who considered wearing one to be comfortable. Personally, I would rather wear a corset (we used to call those a Merry Widow. I always thought that was strange.). What is this medieval torture contraption? A bra!!

I have shared many a Facebook status in which I complained about my bra. The bras I currently have were at one time almost comfortable, but that was several years ago. In the last couple of years they have lost their shape. I suppose there are some women who have little trouble shopping for one, but I was never one of those people. To begin with, I have always had a very broad back. It would be great if I was an Olympic swimmer in the butterfly relay, but since I'm not, it hasn't been very useful. On top of that, no pun intended, I've always had boobs, sometimes more boob than others, and sometimes a lot more boob on one side than the other. And they're boobs that go all the way up to the collar bone. The bottom line is that my upper back and my boobs have always taken up too much of my body. With all that in mind, you can imagine the difficulty in finding a bra, especially one that is comfortable.

I think I got my first bra in 5th grade. Like many girls that age, I was kind of proud to actually have one. Of course the boys had fun popping the strap, but you know how they are. I never really figured out how that was fun for them. Perhaps it was the first step in learning how to unhook one with one hand in later years. Even in my teenage years, it wasn't that bad having boobs. The trouble started in my early 20s. That's when my back started to ache, and the bra straps started leaving indentations in my shoulders.

By the time I was 25, it was just all out of control. The boobs were just too big, and difficult to contain. I worked part-time with a chiropractor friend of mine when I lived in Atlanta, Ga., and he explained to me that some breasts are light weight, but some are dense. Of course mine are dense. In an effort to demonstrate the weight I was carrying in my breasts alone, we weighed them. . . . 22 pounds!!! Imagine having two 10 pound bags of cat litter strapped to the front of your chest. That's what it's like! Ugh! My back hurts just thinking about it!

Then, by the time I got married, and then got pregnant, it got just plain stupid!! When my ex-husband was working on his doctorate and I was teaching school, I finally had good enough health insurance to take care of the boob problem. Because of the back trouble, insurance would fully cover a breast reduction! Hallelujah!! Unfortunately, two days before I got that word, I found out that I was pregnant, so it would have to wait. During my pregnancy, I was one giant breast on one side, and a twice as giant breast on the other side. Misery!! No such thing as a bra to fit those crazy gelatinous things. Two months after giving birth, I was able to have the breast reduction. I won't go into detail about that little surgery, but I can say I have NEVER regretted it. I only wish they would have removed more. To be honest, the most disturbing part about it was the fact that people kept saying to me, "You mean you're husband is going to LET you do that?" Hello??? They're MY boobs, not his. Anyway, I thought all my boob problems would now be over.  . . . I was wrong.

One advantage of the reduction was that everything was a little perkier, except for the side, bra fat part. This began the next stage of bra discomfort. With my second pregnancy, the boobs grew back some. Between the larger boobs, the bra fat, and the broad back, it's been a road of discomfort. Since then, it's the same routine, bend over, adjust the boobs into the cups. Once you do that, of course, you have to adjust the shoulder straps and then pull the sides and back down. As long as you stay perfectly still, you'll be fine. However, if you reach for something, if you turn in any direction, bend over, or even cough, it's all over. If you're in public, you can't adjust the girls to put them back in the cups, then they start sliding out of the bottom. If you move the shoulder straps, you mess up the back. If you pull the back, it messes the cups up again. As a teacher, who stands in front of teenage boys all day long, there's only so much adjustment you can stealthily accomplish.

The bottom line is that bras simply aren't comfortable! We are constantly adjusting them, pulling at them, tucking everything into them, only to have it all fall out within minutes. Can't we just stop the insanity? Isn't there someone out there who can actually make one that works??? We have sent men to the moon, but we can't have a bra that doesn't drive us to drink?? There must be an answer. Sports bras aren't it. They cut off circulation, smash the boobs into one giant roll across the front of the chest, and aren't very sexy. If you have small enough of breasts, you might be able to get away with wearing an undershirt, but I'm too warm natured for that. Couldn't stand 2 layers of clothes. So then comes the Genie Bra, which is what inspired me to write this piece. I've never bought one, I have no faith in the bra makers, but I know a couple of people who have. The general report is that the Genie Bra does nothing magical and doesn't grant any wishes. By their reports, it rolls up, causes back pain, cuts off circulation, etc. I give up. Perhaps one day I will have enough money to have one custom made, until then, what are they good for . . . .

• The other day, one of my fellow teachers, a male, came around passing out mints. The mints were held in the cups of a lovely magenta bra. Now, on the surface, some might see that as inappropriate, bordering on sexual harassment. However, if you knew the guy, it wouldn't bother you a bit.
• Another good use for the bra is as a double sling shot. Potential military use here!
• They could be used as a hammock for small animals.
• Knee or elbow pads --- the lacy ones would look lovely
• Ear muffs
• Face mask
• Storage --- I actually use this method all the time! It's great for holding my cell phone if I don't have pockets. Also when doing little tasks, and you just need another place to hold something.
• Filter water from a stream
• One of my favorite jokes: A Catholic bra holds up the masses...
  A Salvation Army bra lifts up the fallen...
  A Baptist bra makes mountains out of molehills...
  
• I have even read that they can be used for growing tomatoes

In the end though, a bra by any other name, is still a modern torture device. 

Defining a woman . . .

I think we all sometimes wonder how others see us, both inwardly and out. For instance, if you were telling another person about me, what would you say? Would you begin with my physical characteristics? If so, what would you point out? If you began with my personality characteristics, what would stand out in your head? (These are rhetorical questions, mind you, I'm not sure I'd really want to know the answers.)

So, as a single, middle-aged woman, who occasionally contemplates the dating world, I wonder how I would be defined to someone else. How would I even define myself?

Let's touch (and I mean ever so lightly!) on the hard part first . . . I've never been one of those women who everyone turns to see when she walks into the room, or who is secretly despised by other women for my physical beauty. Nope. Not me. But that's perfectly fine. I don't really like to draw attention to myself, and certainly don't want to be despised by anyone. I'm too much of a people pleaser for that! I guess I would say, I'm kind of short, brown hair (sadly thinning), brown eyes,  --- here's the hard part --- not exactly in athletic shape (ok, I'm overweight, but the other sounded a little better), I don't wear a lot of make-up, basically, just kind of average looking. However, I have been told several times in my life that I can be elegant, and even sexy sometimes.

This is actually kind of hard to do . . . perhaps a different strategy. Let's think about what I'm NOT.

I will never appear on any episode of The Real Housewives of anything! I have no fake or added body features. I admit to a breast augmentation, but it was reduction, not an addition, so nothing fake. I do have a chest, but don't think any amount of tight clothing would make it look like those ladies. I do not like to wear shoes with any kind of heels, so that would knock me off the show. I'm not interested in breaking my ankle or killing my feet for vanity. Some women actually find heels comfortable, and that's great, I'm just not one of them. I have tried hair extensions once, but that was because of the thinning hair issue, not because I was going for the long, perfectly coiffed hair look. I couldn't stand it though, just wanted to pick at the glue the whole time. As mentioned earlier, I don't wear a lot of make-up, so that would be another strike against me. As for the tight clothes . . .  I HATE wearing tight fitting clothes. I loved the leggings and big shirts of the 1980s!! That was perfect for me!! The big shirt could hide my belly, while the leggings would show my much more attractive and smaller legs. On top of that, it was all stretchy, and roomy, and COMFORTABLE! To be honest, I can't even tell you the last time I actually tucked anything in, and I'm not ashamed of that. Another "Housewives" quality I lack is the big, gaudy, ridiculously show-off jewelry they wear. I was regularly wearing silver before silver was cool. Even in the days when we all wore gold, I didn't mind a diamond or two, but I never wanted anything BIG! I never wanted a giant rock for my engagement ring. If I were to ever get married again, I don't think I'd even want a diamond at all. The ring isn't the part I want, it's the partnership. THAT is priceless. So, no fake parts, no heels, no perfect hair, no perfect make-up, no tight clothing, no big rocks dripping from me. Oh, and I wouldn't televise my life. So, I'm not a "Real Housewives" sort of woman.

How about more typical women? After all, those women aren't very typical.

I'm thinking of the various women I saw while dining out with my 12 year old son tonight at a popular local restaurant.

1) Women with bling: I have many friends who look great with bling all over them! Bling on the purse, bling on the shirt, bling jewelry, bling in the hair, even bling on the butt of their jeans. Well, I'm not one of them either. I've tried, but it just doesn't work on me. Maybe it's that whole not wanting to draw attention to myself thing.

2) Arm Candy: We've all seen those women who always look perfect, and their husbands like to show them off. Ok, some women are just naturally that way (damn them!), but some women accept that it's the expected practice. This is not an insult, mind you. My own grandmother was an absolutely beautiful woman! She was always dressed perfectly. Everything about her outfits went together perfectly from top to bottom. She never left the house without her "face on" and her  hair fixed. I can't say she was really arm candy, but Grandaddy was sure proud to be seen with her and have other men notice how beautiful she was. (Wait, don't we all kind of want that? Anyway, you get the point.) I'll never forget a defining conversation with Grandmother. We had just gotten into London on the night before flying back home, at the end of a few very busy weeks having attended my sister's wedding in northern England and then traveling around for the next couple of weeks. We were tired, on each other's nerves, both hungry, and needed to just go have a bite and go to bed for the night. As I rather impatiently waited for her to "put on her face," I said, "Why can't you just go like that? Who cares whether you have all of your make up on or not?" She looked at me rather incredulously and said, "People who love me care how I look. Your Grandaddy would be appalled if he knew I went out in public like that." I guess my point here is that I'm a woman who likes to look nice, but I don't want it to be a condition of any relationship.

3) The whole country/Nascar/redneck thing isn't me either. Now, I don't mean to offend anyone by that label;  I'm totally generalizing here. I only like a small selection of country music, not a big fan of Southern Rock, would rather have wine than beer, and have no interest in watching cars drive around in circles. Just not me.

4) The nagging loud-mouth or the no conversation woman: I saw several of these tonight. First of all, I'm not very loud. Yes, I've had my nagging moments, but I really don't think I'd be defined by that. I felt so sorry for some of the men who were on the receiving end of the nagging, that I almost wanted to go hug them and invite them to join me and Asa at our table. Then there were the women who just sat, staring off at nothing while engaging in absolutely NO conversation with their dining partner.

5) The flirt: Admit it, we all flirt, but the kind I'm not is the one who can sit at the bar and hang on every man within a mile radius. You know, the ever so charming, slightly silly and air headed type. I like to flirt too, but not quite so blatantly. Sometimes, just a little dab will do ya.

Let's face it, there are so many different kinds of women out there. I only mentioned a few here, and most women wouldn't fit into any ONE category. Is it possible to really define a woman then, to really give an accurate description of one? I don't think so; we are multi-layered beings. I like to look nice, but I also like to not have to. I like to be outdoors and do outdoor things (like my archery), but I don't want to live in the country. I have moments of sophistication and class, but I have just as many moments where I don't. I love to travel, but I also love to be in the comfort of my own home. I'm not stunningly beautiful, but I'm not unattractive. I don't have the perfect body, but my body can do many things incredibly, perfectly well. I'm educated, but sometimes you wouldn't know it. I'm strong, but not overbearing (I don't think.) I'm tough, but very soft. I'm gentle, understanding, loving, and kind. I love to do for others, usually at the expense of myself. I deeply value the people I love, and the relationships I've made through my life. I love music, but have zilch musical talent. I was raised Episcopalian, but have Catholic leanings. I love art, but have no artistic talent. I can handle a multitude of stresses without completely falling apart, but when I fall apart, I do it well. I could go on, but the point is.  . . how does any of that fit into a type of woman? What type of woman would you describe me as if you were asked? (again, rhetorical) So, if you ever get a notion to tell some wonderful single man about this friend of yours, how would you define a woman?